Staying Human, Intentionally
For ourselves and each other.
The world is not getting easier.
There’s a sense of constant activation: anger, grief, and exhaustion from feeling like everything is urgent and nothing is settled.
Overwhelm is everywhere. Many are already experiencing burnout.
Your feelings are valid. But what do we do?
It can feel like there are only two options: disengage completely or become consumed.
Both responses make sense. Our nervous systems are fried. We can’t always see that there is another way.
Especially when there are always folks on the sidelines saying we shouldn’t “get political.”
That’s pretty tempting.
As if “politics” exists somewhere outside our daily lives.
As if it’s wrong to care.
As if coaching shouldn’t “be political.”
Political systems and cycles, leaders, and policies shape our lives in real ways. They affect safety, access, dignity, community, and opportunity.
Pretending otherwise isn’t neutral.
If we are doing “holistic life coaching” (and I am), then being holistic means looking at the totality of what shapes, connects with, and informs our way of life.
Because I cannot be a coach in a vacuum.
Our inner work and worlds are only one part of what matters. I think that’s true for most of us. We also care about where we live and how we move in our personal and work relationships and activities, our families and friends, our larger communities.
The web gets wider the longer I go on. And if we believe these are all interconnected, then we must accept they are political. Because the larger world is the container we exist in.
Good coaching doesn’t forget the container. And that makes it political.
That said, coaching doesn’t offer easy answers to political complexity.
That’s not a weakness of coaching. It’s a reality of living in a complex, interconnected world. There is not one switch we can flip, one modality we can try, that makes it all better.
But coaching (and, yes, self-coaching, too) can help you stay grounded and choose actions that align with your values and with what you have to offer at any given time. Actions that include choosing to put down the phone, hit reset, and discern with clarity what is next.
A good coach helps you stay rooted in yourself, your values, your community, and your capacity to choose, intentionally, what to do and when. That doesn’t mean you need a coach. But that is another reason the coaching space is, yes, I said it: political.
Being Intentional Despite the Chaos
“Intentional living” is a trendy catch-phrase, yes. But it’s also a very real way to reclaim your agency, refocus your thoughts and energy, and, by extension, return to action.
It works because it unlocks boundaries, planning, care, curiosity, possibility, and discernment.
And that’s because it helps you decide where to place your energy. What to do and when for action, as well as how you engage in restorative care that allows you to hit reset…and then helps you discern the next thing.
Because it’s important to be informed.
But when we are navigating ongoing crises, daily news horrors, feelings of despair, anger, grief, and overwhelm, it becomes harder to care for ourselves and therefore harder to care for and about others.
And then something can shift in a way we might not want it to. We start to choose to disengage completely (and shut down our natural curiosity and empathy) or become consumed, weary, addicted to our phones and the news (and stuck in the overwhelm). Either choice results in a cycle that isolates and causes harm.
Intentional living helps us fine-tune the gauge in us that indicates we need something different. When does scrolling to be informed become doom-scrolling? How does it feel just before we fall into the cycle we are trying to avoid?
That moment is where “intentional living” really shines. We begin to feel that shift that says, “I need three deep breaths,” or “I need a break/snack/water,” or “I need to walk down to the neighbor’s house and see how they are.”
Over time, we learn how to feel the shift, know what our options are, choose with intention, and act accordingly. Then we can show up for ourselves and others in ways that are sustainable, grounded, and true. Along the way, we learn how to navigate and sustain that process with a level of consistency amidst a constantly changing broader landscape.
That’s not just good for you. It’s also one way real change, personal and collective, becomes possible.
This process allows you to consciously make time, space, and energy to do things like call your reps, sign and share petitions/letters, make signs or donations, attend protests, etc.
It’s a both/and, to be sure. It’s a different kind of cycle. It’s a cycle that says there is no “stepping forward to do and stepping back to reset.” Instead, we understand we need both. We don’t “step back” to rest. We rest because we are human. Humans need rest.
Most importantly, we don’t step back and then away. Because stepping away fuels the isolationist cycle of despair and overwhelm. Instead, we step into care, for self and others, into restoration.
And then we step into action and community. Like “self-care,” stepping into action and community is fueled by care.
And humans need care. We all do. And we also care. I think most of us really do.
You, your family, our community. You care about all that, and so do I. And so we’re already in this together.
And so we all have to balance the “put the mask on yourself first” mentality without forgetting the rest of the picture. After “first,” there is “next.”
When to put the mask on, what that means, and how to determine what’s next: that’s about intentionality.\
How to Start
In the coming weeks, we’ll talk more about goal-setting, measuring momentum, and balancing All the Things. I know some of you are chomping at the bit: “It’s already February, where is the goals stuff?!” I hear you.
But, given the state of the bigger picture we are all living in, it felt necessary to take a bit of extra time. Foundational time. Because, if there’s anything the start of this year has taught us, it’s that we are going to need a strong foundation.
Last week, I encouraged you to do just one thing.
Just one thing is about starting up a bit of momentum. Moving into first gear, if, like me, you’re old enough to have driven a stick shift.
This week, I hope you’ll keep doing those just-one-things.
And I’ll offer you something to build on, if that feels right for you: What refills your cup? What restores you? Here are some things that restore me, for inspiration: playing with my cats; cooking; napping; hydration; a healthy meal; cuddling with my boo; writing; movement; nature; meditation; talking to my coach or a good friend; chocolate; a good book.
And sometimes, those just-one-things are also restorative for me. Doing something both pours and restores, all in one go.
The knowing is the key. The knowing takes time. We have to learn to think about our energy and engagement in new ways if we are going to be intentional about them.
Because we can’t sustain momentum, we can’t keep pouring from our cups if we don’t have a refill system in place. So that’s what we’ll think about this week.
This week, while you’re doing Just One Thing, or Many Things, take special note of what restores you. Try some different things. You’re building a system where you’ll have choices. Choices for action and choices for rejuvenation.
We all need both. Because we’re all just human. Humans being.
We need to take action to make the world we want to live in.
And we need to build in restoration, so we can keep coming up with the doing that must be done.
Let’s create generative, restorative, intentional cycles when and where we can.
Let’s do it together.